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1. “My girlfriend was away for the holidays for about a month. It kinda sucked because our five-month anniversary was coming up (which she took quite seriously). So we were texting, and things started getting suggestive (or at least I think they were), and then she sends a message saying, “hey babe, Skype me. I have a surprise for you!”
2. We've flirted on Skype and done stripteases for each other before, so that’s where I thought this was leading. So I flopped it out and Skyped her with my erect penis taking up the entire screen. Then when she answered, it was her entire family: mom, dad and two sisters. They were yelling in unison, “happy anniversary!” I freaked out and slammed the laptop shut.
3. I received two messages from my girlfriend (soon to be ex I imagined) saying, “What the fuck was that?!!” And “ANSWER ME!!” It is definitely the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I kinda wanted to die right then.
4. I didn’t have the balls to reply, but I didn't hear anything else from her except another text just saying, “?” So I decided to man up and text her back. It was the most awkward conversation ever! I don't think her parents will ever look at me without picturing that moment.