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1. My brothers girlfriend took a two hour shower with the shower curtain outside of the tub and flooded our upstairs bathroom.
The water eventually started pouring out from the light fixtures in our kitchen.
2. One of my ex’s d**che buddies brought over this horrible girl he just started dating. I have a good amount of cats, and they are all insanely friendly.
My old man kitty, Buddy, jumped up on the armrest of the couch she was sitting on to check out the newcomer and get some pets. Without missing a beat she shoved him hard to the floor and made a loud “UCK!” sound.
I stood right up, pointed to the door, and sternly said, “He lives here. You don’t. Leave.” Probably not as bad as most here, but it infuriated me. She was never allowed back.
3. Someone at a party dumped a cup of vodka in my fish tank because "your fish look bored! hahaha!"
I kicked everyone out and had to change out all the water before they died.
4. I used to host extravagant yearly parties at my house as a thank you to everyone who worked for me. Significant others were fine but I stressed that young kids were not welcome because it was an adult party and the house/garden just weren’t child-friendly.
One of the guests who's a mother decided to bring her 4 children anyway, all under the age of 12, and leave them completely unattended.
I walked into my master bedroom halfway through to find they had filled a dirt hole in the garden with water from a hose, made goopy mud pies, stomped around in them, come back inside and crawled into my bed under the covers, and ground their shoes intentionally into my pillow and all the bedding.
They also took all the clothes out of my closet, put them on, threw them on the floor and stepped on those, and ruined two rugs on the way.
The mom's response: "Haha! Well, that's just how kids are, you know. You'll understand once you decide to finally grow up and have some."
5. We(family and I) were going on a trip and we told a family friend he could crash at our house while we gone but he would have to take care of things and pay for his own food and such.
Halfway through our trip we get a call from the police. Apparently he threw a huge party which trashed the house, then proceeded to take one of our cars and drive it through the front of the house, totaling the car and collapsing most of the front wall.
This was last week. We had to cut our trip short and come home to deal with this. We are currently in the process of pressing charges.
6. Dyed her hair red in our bathroom sink.
Staining the brand new granite countertop, then dripped onto the new tile floor, then dripped onto the hardwood floor in the hallway, and ultimately slept in our guest bed with wet, freshly dyed red hair, staining the sheets and pillowcase.
7. He let my new very old, very deaf foster dog out of the gate on purpose and the dog took off up the street.
He just stood there smirking while I grabbed my shoes and keys and after I shouted at him for being a moron, he told me that it was for the best and maybe I should focus my time on other things.
I eventually caught up to the terrified and exhausted dog and brought her back home. Told guest to pack his bags and gtfo.
8. Throw my dog in the pool when I wasn't around because he thought it would be funny. He got a punch in the face and shove toward the door.
Nobody messes with my baby
9. My sister and one of her friends were over. Her friend had brought her kid. He was about 7. We left him watching TV in the living room while we had coffee in the other room.
Later that evening, I sat on the couch and smelled something absolutely disgusting. I looked behind the couch (it was one of those curved ones that goes into a corner and leaves a nook behind it) and saw a huge pile of diarrhea.
It had already fused with the carpet. I had to cut the entire corner of carpet away while wearing a dust mask sprayed with cologne.
10. Friends of a relative stayed the night at our place with their kids while we were out of town. We asked if the children wet the bed so we could put plastic sheets down.
They were confident the kids wouldn't wet the bed so we let it be. We come home to find 2 of the beds (new mattresses) soaked in piss—not even stripped or changed.
The kids had wet the bed in the night, moved to another bed and wet again. Three weeks later we found used diapers under one of the beds. Never said thank you, never said sorry.
11. Took a s**t in one of my coffee mugs then ran down the street with it.
I wish I was joking.
12. My ex had a party with a bunch of her co-workers and the next morning all of my koi were floating at the top of the pond. No idea what they did, but they're d***s.
13. Lost my friend of 30 years over this: He brings a woman over for a small get-together. She encourages my pregnant wife to drink, asks our friend if she's bisexual (she's not). She comes into the kitchen, grabs knives and pretends to stab everyone while doing knife katas.
Later she chases the not bisexual friend all over the house in a very predatory manner. I physically stop her by grabbing her wrists and say, "What the hell is going on with you?" She replies, "Go ahead, break my wrists."
The not bisexual friend (who was so upset she took a self-defense course) made up an excuse to stay in the bathroom for an hour. We had a fire outside where the weird guest remarked, "There are three things you can watch forever, a river flowing, fire burning, and someone being hurt."
My friend of 30 years saw no problem with any of this behavior, married her, and I've not heard from him in a year nor do I wish to.
I saw him in the supermarket with his now pregnant wife and slipped out. I assume at some point she will murder him.
14. I had a friend who had some kind of f***ed up urethra. It made him have multiple streams when he pissed. But he f***ing REFUSED to sit down and pee, because 'that's for women'.
He apparently also refused to clean up after himself.
Every time he left my house, without fail, I'd have to use a mop to clean up his piss. I called him out on it, and he laughed like I should be laughing with him. We weren't friends long.
15. Pissed in my husband's brand new gaming/computer chair because he was too enthralled in the game he was playing to get up. He didn't tell us either.
Figured it out after he left.
16. My father-in-law is unfortunately an a**hole who happened to stay at my home once. My significant other and I cooked dinner (it was something with a tomato sauce) and after a dinner full of father-in-law making racist, sexist, bigoted a**hole statements, we went to clean up.
The kitchen sink and dishwasher are maybe 10 feet from where he is sitting. I was taking my plate to the sink while making eye contact with and talking to my SO (i.e. not looking at father-in-law).
He apparently held out his plate full of tomato sauce for me to take to the sink right there and I didn't notice.
After I didn't take it, his response was to flip the plate upside down onto the white carpet. He didn't apologize or say "oops" or try to clean it up. His response was to cross his arms over his fat body and frown.
He has not been invited back since, although whenever we're frustrated we now say, "f**k it, plate flip."
17. The front door to my house has a key code instead of a standard key lock. A few years ago I was away from home and my buddy texted me asking for the code because he had forgotten a sweater or something at my house a few days prior.
It wasn't a big deal, I’ve known him since middle school, and he's one of my best friends.
I told him just to go in because my other roommate was gone for the night. I get a call around midnight from my friend, he was f**ked up, and told me that he had some people over at my house and it got a little out of hand, and it had turned into a full blown party.
I was so f**king mad, but I couldn't get home till the next day.
My place was pretty wrecked, and I found a bunch of weird s**t in my bathroom. Cut up soda cans, baking soda etc. I called my friend to see what the f**k happened, and I guess some dude was cooking crack in my bathroom.
18. Stole my little sister's Nintendo DS. He was a great friend up until then. Would eat dinner with our family every other day too. Real painful backstab for middle school me.
19. I had a really spoiled princess-type friend who always expected me to cater to her when she would come visit (I didn't really want her to visit, but she'd just announce she was coming and I dealt with it).
One morning she texted me to wake me up, saying "Can you please get up and make me breakfast?"
I wish I could say that was the last straw, but it wasn't until she pitched a fit that I didn't make her a bridesmaid and boycotted my wedding that I finally called it quits.
20. They seemed to break or ruin everything:
•they broke our toilet
•they put a hole in the wall
•they allowed their toddler to eat spaghetti on our white sofa, it spilled everywhere and they just turned the cushion over.
•our bathroom lock broke clean off
•there was a giant gouge out of our new kitchen counter.
Obviously, we weren't there—we loaned our house to them while we were out of town. Also, I was not allowed to bring any of this up because it was my partners really good friend and he didn't want to compromise their relationship.
21. Spit on my floor, thinking I wasn't watching.
22. Roommate's boyfriend comes over drunk. Roommate was not there but he said he wanted to wait for her, and we were too non-confrontational to make him leave.
After a while, he goes into the bathroom and we can hear lots of splashing around, but again, too timid to ask wtf is going on in there. He comes out, sits down, and we notice his arms are completely covered in black marker.
Then he says "you might want to clean up the bathroom. There is water all over in there." and leaves.
He had taken a f***ing black sharpie, colored his arms, then tried cleaning it off and when it wouldn't come off he got the marker wet and splashed black sharpie water all over the entire bathroom.
There were puddles of purple sharpie water all over the floor. It stained the linoleum and, despite our roommate's attempts to clean it up, we ended up losing security deposit money over it.
He was no longer allowed over without her there.
23. Had a friend come over for a weekend thing to celebrate my 6th month of sobriety.
He brought his girlfriend, who brought her cocker spaniel. Who proceeded to s**t on my couch, and not a solid s**t either. I'm talking that thick, cake batter diarrhea they get from cheap off-brand dog food and she just looked at me, pinching her nose and said snottily, “Aren't you going to like clean that up?”
My friend looked at her [like] she just had a xenomorph chest burster live up to its name right there in the room, got up, grabbed some paper towels, and cleaned it while apologizing to me repeatedly.
He dumped her the next day because the same thing happened at his parents' house. She was a b***h.
24. He said he had to go to the bathroom and after 20 minutes I decided to go see if he was okay. Found him on my mother's computer watching adult vids...
25. I once had a guest shave his entire beard at a party. It was the first time me or my roommate met him. He had a beard, and then went and used my roommates razor to shave it off.
26. Had someone watch the house and dogs while we were on vacation for the week.
We come home after a long 14 hour drive to find all of our beds we're soaked in dog piss, the hot tub broken (refused to turn on) and many, MANY complaints from our neighbors of people running and screaming through the woods and loud music coming from the house.
27. I'm throwing a party, and a friend of a friend clogs the upstairs toilet. He plunges it, a little too violently, and the back of the tank hits the wall.
The bottom of the tank drops off, causing all the water to come out on to the floor. He doesn't know how to shut off the water, so it continues to fill up the bathroom.
Eventually it floods into my closet, and into an air vent. From here it makes its way to two spots, my basement floor, and a nice big pool on top of my kitchen ceiling.
This is when he finally tells me we have a problem, and the water gets shut off. Shortly thereafter, the kitchen ceiling collapsed. He didn't even offer to help clean up.
28. I was having a house party years ago. A pair of girls went into the bathroom together. Not uncommon. Well, one of them decided to take a piss in my sink and accidentally dropped a loaf.
They come out laughing and telling everyone someone must have shit in my sink. I was literally the last person in that bathroom before them. I even watched them walk in. And I don't remember shitting in my own sink.
After confronting them, they got pissed off and left. Didn't even bother cleaning the turd out of my sink.
29. I opened the bathroom door not knowing my best friend was in their taking a huge whiff of my wife's large thong