I once went on a date with a guy I met online. He looked normal enough, and I agreed to go on a date with him. We met for drinks, and things were really going well. Handsome, charming, seemingly normal, so I agreed to go on another date with him. We head to a really nice steakhouse, and after appetizers and his third martini, he starts to speak baby talk to me, as in "Would you wike a wittle kissy-wissy?" Our steaks arrive and he reached across the table to cut my meat for me! I'm completely freaked out, decide I'm going to the bathroom, and he asks if I need help wiping. (I wish I was making this up.) I make it to the ladies' room, where my waitress walks in after me as I'm planning my escape route, and she says, "Um, I was just listening in on your date. Your guy has put a pacifier on your plate. Do you need to get out the back?" She winds up sneaking me through the kitchen, and I slipped her a $20 tip.