Lets put this into words that we all can understand. 

Did you know that until today, people could be fired from their jobs based on the sex of their partners? Well, we're not exactly sure if that's the case, (we assume some states have protections) we didn't actually read the laws, but according to the news, that's the case. 

And well, congrats everyone, we are one step closer to actually being decent people. But yeah, you can no longer get the ax for taking it from behind, or liking a light pegging from the misses. Though you can still be fired for other reasons, just not personal ones. 

So hey take the rest of the day off and if you've never sucked a dong before or - the opposite of that for girls - go and find someone, preferable down on their luck and make their day without fear of losing your job. 

We don't have a copy of the new law on hand but we suspect it reas something like this: "the federal government today issues a formal statement granting all potential employees full rights under the law to terminate and/or share, their genitals with whomever they please and/or however they please, in full perpetuity and without discrimination."